Poor Daryl. He grew up with his mother insisting on throwing him these ridiculous birthday parties and, because Wayne and Katy are who they are, they have continued the tradition every year. While many of us associate our birthday with fun and shenanigans, that is not necessarily the case for Daryl. Let’s face it, Daryl isn’t exactly the coolest cucumber in Letterkenny (he used to get boners to “O Canada”) so his birthday has to be equally as subdued, mushy, and pulpy as he is. So now every year the goal is the same: make this birthday the softest birthday ever.
I know what you’re thinking, “But Jo, I want to have a super soft birthday party but I don’t know what to do?” Don’t you fret your pretty little nerd-noggins, I took the liberty of compiling a list of all the ingredients required to make a birthday super soft. With the help of Letterkenny Season 1, Episode 2 of course.
How to have a super soft birthday:
- Boy Band Karaoke – Because nothing sounds better than a poor quality mic with equally poor output capturing an off-key, off-tone falsetto. Besides, nothing is quite as maddening to the mind as the cheeky lyrics of a boy band pop song. Good luck trying to sleep tonight with that stuck in your head.
- Cupcake Decoration Station – There better be cream cheese frosting and those edible glitter sprinkles that taste like chemical warfare.
- Charcuterie – Sounds eloquent, but is just a wooden board with forcemeat. If you don’t know what forcemeat is then keep thinking it’s just the really lame term for fancy French sausages.
- Uni-Horse – Because a horse dressed like a unicorn somewhat makes sense, if you take a mule or a donkey and make it a unicorn it is actually funny and interesting. Which defeats the purpose of making this birthday super-duper soft. Hopefully, you can find someone willing to take back a drunk horse dressed as a unicorn. Wayne and Katy had some troubles.
- Girly Froo-Froo Cocktails – Hmmm, what sounds softest: corabella love potion, purple passion punch, lemon gingerini, apricot toblerone cocktail, flirtini, or sparkling mango sorbet float.
- Friends – A collection of the weirdest people in town who also just so happen to be your best friends. (DISCLAIMER: If your friends are cool then they can’t come, sorry.)
And if you can’t make it, grab some group birthday cards and send it off quickly!
Addendum to List:
Whilst the birthday party you have going is quite plush already there is one more thing that you may want to consider. Let’s say one of your best buds
is used to be the toughest guy in Letterkenny and is presented with an opportunity during your birthday party. Do you keep it soft or do you sort it out?
In this episode, Wayne has to reinstate his role as the toughest guy in town once again. To do so, he has to work his way through the previous title holders:
- Sled Ted – He really likes sleds apparently.
- Basic J – He’s basic . . . duh.
- Rat Ass – Has a lot, and I mean a lot, of hair on his ass that travels up his back.
- Brains – Technically it is spelled Brian, but he spelled it wrong on a school computer once and it stuck.
- Joint Boy – He is a new in town and he sells drugs, he also has a posse of Vin Diesel doubles.
He manages to settle most fights at the end of the property lane. However, one person shows up during Daryl’s birthday party. Katy gives the O.K. and Wayne sorts things out. He reclaims his title and then, without tarnishing that Canadian kindness invites Joint Boy to join in the festivities.
What do you think? Ready to have the egyptian cotton of birthday parties?