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Game of Thrones S3 E5 Recap: Wedding Bells

Can we talk about how awesome this season of “Game of Thrones” is? I don’t want to count my dragons before they’re hatched, but episode 5 “Kissed By Fire” had a very healthy amount of action and plot development in it. Plus the pace is crazy. I stand by my point that there are too many storylines, but that means the boring ones pass quickly.


Beric Dondarrion, the Cool Undead Guy

The episode begins with Beric Dondarrion moving quickly up the “Game of Thrones” badass ladder. Leather eye sling? Check. Gruff exterior? Check. Virtually immortal? Check. While fighting the Hound in a trial by combat, Dondarrion is defeated by Joffrey’s former guard. That pesky slice through the shoulder and chest will get you every time. But he is quickly brought back to life. They claim the Lord of Light did it. Arya is shocked and tries to charge the Hound, but is held back. She later learns that Dondarrion has been revived a bunch of times. Unfortunately, when she asks if they can revive a headless person, the answer is no. I can’t be the only one who pictured a headless Ned Stark leading an army at this moment. That’s some Sleepy Hollow stuff. The Lannisters sure wouldn’t expect that.

In King’s Landing those very same Lannisters are in the middle of wedding preparations and scheming for other potential weddings. Joffrey is going to marry Margaery who wants Sansa to marry Loras who doesn’t like girls and is successfully seduced by a squire who was planted by Little Finger to do just that. So Tywin takes charge and orders Tyrion to marry Sansa and Cersei to marry Loras. Well this is going to be a weird episode of “Game of Thrones” Bridezillas.

Dearest brother Jaime continues to look worse every episode, but he and Brienne are delivered to Roose Bolton at Harrenhal. Roose isn’t too pleased that Jaime has been relieved of his hand and sends him off to get worked on. He then frees Brienne. The two run into each other later in the baths. There are definitely some wandering eyes. More importantly, Jaime tells the story of when he killed the Mad King. He claims he killed him because the crazy Targaryen was planning on burning the city down with wildfire. I daresay we are starting to like the Kingslayer. That’s the same Kingslayer, who pushed Bran out a window after schtupping his twin sister. This show is playing with my brain! Forget “Game of Thrones,” game of brains!

Speaking of schtupping, Jon and Ygritte do just that on their way to the Wall. So much for Jon’s Night’s Watch vow. Jon’s half-brother Robb on the other hand is being all crazy like “I’m King of the North, I’ll cut your head off!” That may not be a direct quote but he does cut off Lord Karstark’s head for murdering the two Lannister children they had prisoner in Riverrun. So, because of this, all of the Karstark banner men leave. Robb decides the solution will be to form an alliance with Walder Frey. You remember Walder. He has a ton of kids and grandkids all named Walder Frey. Well, Robb thinks, with his help, he can capture Casterly Rock. Only one problem, Robb promised to marry one of the Frey daughters and he didn’t.

We’re reminded that Stannis exists with a rare look at Dragonstone where the Baratheon admits to his wife that he had an affair with Melisandre. Well, Queen Selyse already knew that, apparently, and she tells Stannis to keep at it. In addition to Stannis’ wife, we also meet his daughter, Shireen, who is locked away. She later sneaks into the dungeons to say “hi” to Davos. They prove to be a sympathetic pair. Something bad must be coming, but not today.

Saving Daenerys’ story for the end of our recaps has worked out well this season since it’s usually one of the highlights of the episode. Well, not this week. Jorah and Barristan seem to be getting along and then they don’t. Dany in the meantime asks the officers of her army to pick a leader. They select Grey Worm. All the soldiers have names like this because they were slaves. Dany says they can pick their own names, but ol’ Wormy likes his because it was the name he had when she freed him. He could at least change it to Red Worm or something. That’s a more intimidating color-worm combination.

“Kissed By Fire” holds the lead for best season three “Game of Thrones” episode so far. It will be tough to beat, but they better! We have five episodes left.