F'd up news

F’d Up News: Animals Gone Wild

It is my pleasure to bring to you, F’d Up News Edition 2. And boy is this week seriously F’d up! Okay I know this isn’t really ‘geek’ related but it kind of is. I’m sure many of you are like myself and love animals. But when was the last time you watched Wild Kingdom (is that even on anymore?) or Nat Geo (do they even show nature shows anymore?) or checked out videos/articles on the animal kingdom? Well, I’m betting that even if your answer is “yesterday” that you haven’t seen some of these F’d up animals around us today.

Suicide Bomber Ants!

Okay, I know ants aren’t ‘animals’ but this one is so F’d up I had to share. It seems that these little buggers were discovered in like 1930 but there are a lot more than first thought. These Southeast Asian ants have the ability cause their abdomens to explode on command, covering their unsuspecting enemy with a toxic goo that takes them out too.

I don’t know about you but the adolescent boy inside me is throwing a tantrum about not ever hearing of these. I mean the article even says if you get to close BAM! Instant goo-bomb! Would have made for some rather interesting ant farms.

F'd up news, suicide bomber ants

Somewhere… over the rainbow.. Pigs Are Sheep

I’ve seen Rainbow Mountains & Trees and now there are Rainbow Crawdads.

I know I know.. not an animal and not really that F’d up. It’s just another of those things that I would have expected to see before now. LOL. Apparently there’s also some electric blue crayfish and probably all sorts of F’d Up colors now. And just for giggles, here’s a Rainbow Lizard.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSgKzYIBXEo]

And then there’s the pigs in Hungary that have wool! That’s right.. Blond, red, or black wool that looks just like sheep’s wool. Apparently these guys taste pretty good too and were almost hunted to extinction but they are making a comeback now. I just wanna know.. is it pork chops or lamb chops and how good does it taste out of my smoker? Just kidding… kind of.

F'd up news, kermit frog Hanna would never have to worry about missing this little guy’s heart. The Kermit lookalike almost looks made of glass and though it was first discovered in the early 1970s, many venues are reporting it as “newly discovered.”

Just go with it… I’ll probably have more insects and stuff in this edition that aren’t really animals.

I’m no fan of spiders but I swear if this Long-Horned Orb-Spider was the one that sat down beside Miss Muffet, it’s no damn wonder it scared her away.

This sucker looks like it would be the perfect pet for Loki or the devil in Legend, and I’m just glad it isn’t found in the U.S.

F'd up news, long-horned orb-spider

Aye Aye Ya! Say Hello to Your Cousin

Aye aye primate, f'd up newsThe Aye Aye is a primate that lives in Madagascar and looks like something out of a Guillermo del Toro movie. Heck this sucker is the largest nocturnal primate and though he looks a little like Smokey from The PJs, apparently it only eats grubs and other insects. Heck maybe Smokey was an Aye Aye.

Naked Mole Rat!

‘Nuff Said?

This sucker may give me nightmares.

Naked mole rat, f'd up news
Lamprey, f'd up news This Lamprey looks like a prototype for the Sarlacc and even though it is said to be toothless, I’m pretty sure this is yet another reason to stay out of the deep ocean.

I’m not sure whether George Lucas saw one of these or not but I bet these could give Boba Fett nightmares

These Dudes are Mucho Freaky…

I swear this is something out of Spielberg’s imagination or maybe another Sarlacc prototype. The Star-Nosed Mole is almost blind but is the world’s fastest eater. Star nosed mole, f'd up news
Yeti crab, f'd up news The Yeti Crab is another of those “Why haven’t I seen this before” kind of things. It was discovered near Easter Island in 2005 and I just wanna know how well it goes with melted butter.

The blobfish, f'd up news

And then there’s this guy. The Blobfish… Looking like a cross between Ziggy and a throat oyster from King Kong. Annnd yet another reason to stay out of deep water altho you know someone out there would eat it.. and even some that probably think it’s an aphrodisiac.

And lastly for this edition… The Japanese Spider Crab

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQSHfutIzh8]

It’s certainly F’d up and creepy but, being a crab lover, all I can think of is YUM!

Even when I saw this guy…

Japanese spider crab, f'd up news

Got some weird, freaky, or F’d up news? Leave a comment below or follow me @funewsalert for article updates and alerts.

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