Whether you’re headed off to a friends’ house or you celebrate with a clan-backed bank heist on GTA5, New Year’s Eve gatherings are a time for booze, reflection, and laughs.
But mostly booze and laughs.
Geek jokes may not always be the “go to” for laughs, but of course as the night progresses and the more booze that’s consumed, the louder and easier the laughs generally come. Which is the perfect time to break out some of the geek jokes we have for you today.
Okay, okay. Some aren’t all that funny, a couple may be described as “dad jokes,” and a few will make them think before the laugh finally comes, but one thing is undeniable — they’re definitely geek jokes.
While we can’t guarantee that these will make you the life of the party, we can indeed say that if no one at the party laughs at some of these jokes, you’re probably at the wrong party.
In no particular order, here are 20 geek jokes to help you ring in the new year.
“Walked Into a Bar” Geek Jokes
While not all of the jokes fall into any particular category, I did find a few gems related to drinking that somehow had never made it onto my list of funnies to share at the bar.
- A Roman soldier walked into a bar. He held up two fingers and said to the bartender, “Five beers, please.”
- Two chemist walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H20.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H20 too.” The second one died.
- C, G, and E flat walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
- Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar and doesn’t.
- Decartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Oi mate, want a beer?” Decartes says,”I think not,” and ceases to exist.
The first and last ones are my personal favorites. Ya just can’t beat a geek joke that makes ‘em stop and think.
Some Quick One (or Two) Liners
Speaking of making them stop and think, here’s a few that are quick to drop but may take a second or two for some of them to “get it.”
- There are two types of people in this world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.
- There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those that don’t.
- If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
- Smart Geeks know that you can NEVER trust an atom. They make up everything.
- What’s a physicist’s favorite food? Fission chips.
Some Geek Joke Groaners
No self-respecting joke teller’s list would be complete without at least a couple of dad jokes. When everyone is good and loose, hit ‘em with a couple of these beauties.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- There’s a great new band called 1023MB. They’re not bad at all, but they haven’t gotten any gigs yet.
- What do you call two crows on a wire? Attempted murder.
- Where does bad light end up? In prism.
- What’s another name for a computer virus? A terminal illness.
- What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe
Last But Not Least
Here’s a few last geek jokes you can have some fun with. However, all joking aside, from everyone here at GeekInsider, we wish you and your loved ones a very safe and Happy New Year.
Thanks for a fantastic year! We look forward to another year of bringing you more laughs, news, interviews, reviews, and anything Geek related.
Now, back to the last few jokes.
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.
- What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium.
- What do computers and air conditioners have in common? They’re both useless when you open windows.
And last but not least…
Schrodinger gets pulled over by a cop. The cop searches the trunk and says, “Do you know there’s a dead cat in here?” Schrodinger says, “Well NOW I do!”