Today at E3 Microsoft revealed to us unwashed masses, the price point of the new Xbox One. How lucky we are to get such a fantastic machine at only 500 dollars! If you think the US is lucky then you’ll be jealous of me. I get to pay 428 pounds, that’s about 667 dollars at today’s exchange rate. You all wish you could make such a considerable donation to the deities of Microsoft. Think of all the things we’ll be able to do! We can tweet about our day with Twitter while browsing the web. We can sift through and watch thousands of online movies with Netflix and live television can be brought in straight through the console! That’s not all, it can even do picture in picture! With so many features there is no amount of money I can give them that would be too much. I mean it’s not like those are available anywhere else.
If I remember correctly, my TV already does all those things. Microsoft seems to have forgotten the reason we all buy game consoles. Well I’ve come up with an easy mnemonic for them. It goes something like “game console, GAME console, GAME, GAME! GAME!!!” I hate to break it to you Microsoft but I couldn’t give a crap less about the features of your console that don’t improve my experience with games. My TV does all of the things you seem to want to pretend you’re breaking ground on. Not only that but it does them better, as well. I gotta give a thumbs up to Sony when it comes to design features. My TV can give me just about everything the new Xbone does and doesn’t make me check-in every day for it. Microsoft wants me to call every day, let it know what I’m doing all the time. It’s like that overbearing parent that no kid wanted to ask permission from because Sony dad was way cooler.
For the half a grand they are charging I’m not even sure I’m getting ownership of the games I do buy for it. Microsoft decided to leave the used game lock-out technology to the publishers. ARE THEY CRAZY!? That’s like handing an X-Acto knife to the unstable kid in art class. Sure, we’d all like to believe he’ll just make a nice cutout collage, but the last half a dozen times we gave it to him someone ended up in the hospital. At least, when I forked out the big bucks for my Playstation 3, I felt like it was a step forward. That console was putting out obscene graphics compared to the competition and had some of the coolest exclusives around. This time I’m dropping a fat wad of cash so I can have a creepy little box that watches me all the time, always listening in and only let’s me play games sometimes. What am I, a child? It wants to monitor not only me but my games too. I’m pretty sure Microsoft is establishing itself at the top of our new machine overlords.
£429? No Way.
What the hell is up with the European price point? The US gets their console at $500 and, because I live in the UK, I have to pay over $667!? I know you’re an American company but that seems a bit cruel, doesn’t it? I don’t see Sony and Nintendo gouging the US market. That’s a 34% mark-up and is absolutely inexcusable. When you announced a Killer Instinct reboot I was almost convinced to drop the money for the console. Then you did what you do Microsoft; you screwed me. Just like when I bought your console for online gaming last gen and ended up having to pay you money just to get the thing online to play with friends. Between: a camera that never really turns off, a microphone that’s the same, a possible used game bottleneck, and a ridiculous price point, I can’t buy your new toy. If I did, I know I’d just feel Xboned.