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The Zombie Apocalypse: Top 5 Survival Tips

by Lianne Martha Laroya

What are geeks like us supposed to do when the “sheep” hits the fan, and the zombie apocalypse starts to spread around like wildfire? Hopefully, our top 5 survival tips will help you survive the zombie apocalypse.

Imagine, the zombie apocalypse everyone predicted is now being initiated. All over the television, radio and Internet, news of these groups of undead who pray on human flesh become viral (pun intended). You are confused. You are lost.  Most of all, you’re itching to read the rest of this article already.

What should you do? What should you wear? Who should you contact?

Let’s start:

#1
Make sure you’re Wearing Zombie-Proof Clothing

You don’t want to expose your scrumptious flesh to these blood-drinking flesh-eating monsters, do you? If you know anything about zombies, then you are aware they absolutely LOVE biting people (forget brains, that’s soooo 1980’s).

The zombie apocalypse

Amy: Darn it! I should have worn my leather cosplay costume!
Zombie: nomnomnomonom…

It is a proven fact that zombies can’t bite through leather, or duct tape. I know what you are thinking; is there anything that duct tape can’t do? The answer is no, no there is nothing that duct tape can’t do. It is probably best to prepare, so go out and buy loads of duct tape or walk into any sex shop and buy a leather suit…the real leather! This is no time to be cheap!

#2
Get a GPS

This is for navigation and distraction during those oh-so-inconvenient moments when zombies run after you. Okay, you’ve got your leather on, the next thing to take note of is your navigation. I mean, how can you find the nearest convenience store or the nearest celebrity house, if you don’t have great GPS?

This might not be too useful in the real world…

Sure, a lot of controversy has resulted from this suggestion: would the satellites remain in sync? Would this kind of technology still work? And since no one really has a substantial idea about what will happen during a zombie apocalypse, we say that getting a practical GPS is still a reasonable suggestion. At least, during the initial outbreak, you would know where to go!

#3
Food. Lots and Lots of Food

You won’t survive the zombie apocalypse on sheer technology alone – you will need nourishment. This is the reason why stocking up on food is always a good idea. However, keep in mind that not all foods are suggested. You should only stock-up on the following essentials:

    • WATER: A person can survive roughly a month without food, but he can’t survive 3 days without water.
    • NUTS:Nuts can give you a lot of energy. They’re great sources of antioxidants and protein to give your skin that shiny glow, even when the zombie apocalypse is making everyone look dead tired.
    • PEANUT BUTTER:It’s packed with protein and it doesn’t really need refrigeration. Also, it tastes good, too!
    • CANNED MEAT & VEGETABLES: I know, it seems like it’s a bit disgusting to eat meat straight from a can. But you know, it’s also disgusting when zombies start eating your flesh because you’re undernourished, right? Get those cans that come in easy open containers so you don’t need a can opener anymore.
    • DRIED FRUITS: They’re packed with nutrients and you don’t need to refrigerate them.
    • SEEDS & VINEGAR: Get them so that you can start a garden at your home. Make sure you have vinegar to extend the lives of your harvest.

#4
Flashlights

Keep in mind that zombies never sleep. Zombies thrive in the dark. Therefore, get a durable flashlight that will always keep you aware of your general surroundings. Flashlights are particularly helpful to light your way and to signal to your group as well. Yes, the light may have the potential to attract the attention of the zombies, but at least this light can also stop you from running into these undead creatures when you’re walking by yourself at night.

Invest in an awesome FLASHlight so that your FLESH won’t be devoured.

Get something that is powered just by cranking, by solar power or by AC & DC – you can’t afford to spend a lot of time searching for working batteries!

#5
Buy a Zombie Proof Laptop

Getting a zombie-proof laptop might be tough. Save yourself the trouble by getting one that can withstand extreme temperatures, survive a fall and water-proof.

Don’t forget some type of weapon! Choosing a weapon is a personal preference. Remember that even if your weapon is already the best one there is, if you can’t master it, you are zombie food.

Do you have a list ready for the zombie apocalypse?

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