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10 Hilarious Doctor Who Quotes

Whether the BBC show Doctor Who is new or old to you, or you’ve just caught bits and pieces, its hilarity is apparent to all. Even in the most desperate of times or saddest of moments, Doctor Who still finds a way to make viewers smile. The love for the show comes through the screen all the way from the writers, the producers, and the actors.


Doctor Who’s characters are well-rounded individuals who can express sorrow and tragedy as well as happiness and humor. Here are:

10 Doctor Who Moments Worth Sharing

10. A Classic Doctor Who Moment

We have the 5th Doctor, played by Peter Davison, to thank for this hilarious moment from the episode “The King of Demons.”


5th 2

This shows the Doctor’s arrogance and also his bravery to fight for what he thinks is right while making us smile at his cocky, clever self.

9. The Nose and the Chin

The first time we meet Clara Oswin Oswald is in the Dalek Asylum. Here, she helps the Doctor, Rory, and Amy get through a labyrinth of insane Daleks. Oswin is a brilliant flirt, so the 9th quote of this list is from a conversation between her and Rory:

Oswin: Lovely name, Rory. First boy I ever fancied was called Rory.

Rory: Okay.

Oswin: Actually she was called Nina. I was going through a phase. Just flirting to keep you cheerful. (the Daleks can be heard in the distance)

Rory: Okay, anytime you want to start flirting again is fine by me…

Oswin: Hey there, Binky Boy.

Rory: If it’s a straight choice I prefer Nina.

Oswin: Loving this. The nose and the chin. You two could fence.

Here we can see the diversity in the characters of Doctor Who and their ability to make a bad and scary situation into a lighter one through humor and conversation.

8. The Doctor’s Explanations

In the episode “Blink”, where we are first introduced to the terrifying Weeping Angels, we get to see the Doctor stuck in the past and his clever and brilliant ability to create working greatness from junk. Yet he never seems to be to brilliant in his explanations.



7. The Drunk Doctor

Here we see the Doctor drunk and his lovely conversation with Rose who is not too happy at having been in danger again waiting on the Doctor, while he was off gallivanting. This shows the lovely relationship between Rose and 10 and their humorous interactions.

Rose Tyler: [the Doctor enters, singing “I Could Have Danced All Night”, seemingly drunk] Oh, look what the cat dragged in, the oncoming storm.

The Doctor: Oh, you sound just like your mother.

Rose Tyler: What have you been doing, where’ve you been?

The Doctor: Well, among other things, I *think* I just invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. Do you know they’d never seen a banana before? Always take a banana to a party, Rose, bananas are good. [to the droid]

The Doctor: Oh, brilliant, it’s you! You’re my favorite, you are, you are the best, you know why? Cause you’re so thick! You’re Mr. Thick Thick Thickety Thick-face from Thick-town, Thickania. And so’s your dad!

6. Cassandra

In “New Earth”, Cassandra the annoying skin trampoline sends herself, her memories, and her brain into Rose. The Doctor of course is in trouble and wants Rose back, the real Rose and not Cassandra in Rose’s body. So she decides to vacate Rose as he commands and head to the nearest available body, his.

Cassandra (in the Doctor’s body): Well… this is… different…

Rose: Cassandra?

Cassandra (in the Doctor’s body): Goodness me, I’m a man. Yum. So many parts. And hardly used.

[starts jerking around]

Cassandra (in the Doctor’s body): Ah, ah! Two hearts! Oh baby, I’m beating out a samba!

Rose: Get out of him!

Cassandra (in the Doctor’s body): Ooh, he’s slim… and a little bit foxy. You thought so too; I’ve been inside your head. You’ve been looking. You *like* it.

You like it

5. Madame Vastra and Jenny

Another adorable couple brought together by the Doctor. Madame Vastra and Jenny are not ashamed of their love in any way, even in Victorian London. So the 5th quote goes to these two and Vastra’s blunt explanations.

Madame v and j

4. Who Else But Jack

Captain Jack Harkness is a hurricane of sexual tension and innuendoes wrapped up in a beautiful body. He is continuously a source of smiles and laughs.

Captain Jack Harkness: What’s a Defabricator?

Captain Jack Harkness: [his clothes get disintegrated]

Captain Jack Harkness: Okay, defabricator, does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?

Zu-Zana, Trine-e: [enthusiastically] Absolutely.

Captain Jack Harkness: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.

3. Rory Williams and Beard Love

Rory Williams is funny when he’s not under a spell that makes him essentially drunk, but when he is he’s even more brilliant.

Rory: You are so beautiful. I love your get-up. Oh, it’s great. You should dress as a pirate more often. Huh? Hey, hey. Cuddle me, ship mate.

Amy: Rory, stop.

Rory: Everything is totally brilliant, isn’t it? Huh? Look at these brilliant pirates. Look at their brilliant beards. I’d like a beard. I’m gonna grow a beard.

2. Oh, River

The favorite runaway, lost and found daughter/wife/enigma makes the 2nd quote for her lovely taunting of Nazi officers, who have guns to her.

German Officer: What are you doing here?

River Song: Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought “Gosh, the Third Reich’s a bit rubbish. I think I’ll kill the Fuehrer.”


1. Oh, Snap!

Who else but the Doctor could make such a tragic situation into a sassy sarcastic moment? This quote goes to the 9th Doctor for making and bad situation better by making us laugh.


These are just a few of the hilarious Doctor Who quotes. Throughout its history Doctor Who has added clever comebacks and emotionally lightening moments to depressing scenarios. This if nothing else shows why Doctor Who is a great show, and is a testament to why it has lasted so long.